reaching for the stars

the digital clock on my laptop's screen shows that it is 12.01pm.. yet, im still in my pyjama. having no desire to refresh myself at all. anak dara apa la ni <-- well, thats wut the elders wud say i guess. who cares. as long as i'm happy this way. but wait. am i happy? there are so many "if"s is running in my head now. how good it will be;

• if i could turn back the time
• if i could reach for the happy moments in the past
• if i just pull back my words
• if i just sit still n shut up at that time
• if i can be as tough as she is
• if i'am tougher than i am before
  
• if i'm somewhere away from here... in the other part of the world
• if i didnt quit that school <-- then mama wudnt cry
• if i can be there for her when she needs me...
• if i can be the best friend i cud be for her..
• if i just learn how to love myself first
• if i can be as perfect as mom says i am
• if i can fly to the airport and hug dee before she flew off... <-- yes dee, i dreamt of u last nite
• if i can shine again
• if i knew it earlier...
• if i can be that someone that they want me to be..
• if i just say yes to everything that she says...
• if i cud just be more patient...
• if i cud learn how to not to listen to the bad me..
• if i cud help them..
• if i cud make others happy
• if i ......
  
• if i could just reach for the stars..

........... note: each of this refers to different person.. jgn prasan lebey ye..

too many ifs i guess. everything happen for a reason rite? its not bout the challenges or obstacles that are important, but its how you face it. stand tough and face it. you know you can do it. Allah knows you can do it. if He can believe in you that you can do it, then why you yourself cant do the same? just be happy with the way you are.

...pray pray n pray....

stop dreaming. its reality.
now i just wish, how good it will be if i just go n take my bath now...
*stinks!